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Rewriting Memories

Is that what my brain was trying to do?

Created by author using Midjourney

Originally published here on Medium

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I had the strangest dream last night. My family went to New Jersey for some reason and we decided to stay at my narcissist ex-boyfriend’s house. The trauma was palpable for me. Everywhere I looked, tears sprang to my eyes. The kitchen. The living room. The downstairs. The bedroom. The yard. Everywhere I’d ever been with him in that house was a part of the dream. Memories I didn’t want flooded my mind. And yet, in the dream, there was someone else. Someone I could turn to. My partner. He was there through it all. Holding my hand, giving me tender forehead kisses, and hugging me every time the fountain threatened to burst. I remember walking into the dining room and feeling triggered. I stood there like I’d just been hit by a brick. The next thing I knew, I was in my partner’s arms, his voice whispering sweet words and smoothing down my hair. Was my brain re-wiring? Was it trying to tell me it’s okay now? I have the person who will love me no matter what. He’s here with me, even when he’s not physically present. Maybe I’m just over-analyzing and a dream is just a dream.

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